So, as of a week ago, I went on my “paternity leave”. However, with me not really working a regular job, I couldn’t just switch off completely and focus on fatherhood. There are so, so many projects I'm currently working on, which means that although I'm not out of the house, shooting, I still have a few zoom meetings, calls and heaps of emails each day.
I'm so not complaining. As much as I would love to just focus on Ismail, I also have a career that is intense, and if I take my foot off the gas, things will come toppling down and affect my career, long term. Thank gosh Rob is completely flexible with his work as an artist, so Ismail is getting all the care he needs. I still manage to spend many hours a day with him, just not as much as I’d like.
I so wish I could tell you what I'm working on right now, as there are so many exciting things in the works, and some that will be made public within the next couple of months. I could not be more pumped and I have a feeling you guys might also love them too. Gosh, I hope so.
You know, it’s a strange feeling, putting new projects out there, as a public figure. Before I became an entertainer, 3 years ago, I used to just assume that famous folks put out shows or projects and just expect that people would love them, and that the famous person wouldn’t really feel nervous or anxious about what the audience might think. They have their built in audiences and, therefore, they feel confident in their careers.
WRONG. At least for me. Every time I put out a new project, I feel physically sick. I get so nervous that no one will like it, and that people will start to realize that I never belonged in entertainment at all.
So often, I'm asked how I managed to build my confidence so greatly. It's always a tough one to answer. Yes, I feel confident about who I am as a person, a husband, a friend….. but I don’t feel confident in my career, at all. I'm always nervous that my time is over and that I won’t get hired again. I hate that feeling and every time I put something out there, I just pray that the press/audience doesn’t rip me to shreds.
With one of the new projects, that’s launching first, I feel so passionately about how good it is, but you never know what the world will think. But, I'm hoping that anyone who knows me knows how much work it took, and how cool it is. Eeeeek, let's hope that comment doesn’t come back to haunt me.
Back to my paternity leave. Right now, it looks like I’ll go back to shooting in really early October, for 2-3 weeks, for the Skin Bleaching Doc I'm doing with the BBC. Then, I don’t have any big shoots for the rest of the year, and I'm hoping to keep it that way. I really do just want to be at home as much as possible, and be with Rob and our boy. I don’t want to miss these few first month’s milestones. So, that’s what I'm pushing for. I guess time will tell as to whether or not that’ll happen.
Before I wrap up here for today, I have a Question. Do you have any interest in me sharing some of my favorite finds that have helped with new parenthood? I have now tried so many things to calm Ismail, that I find so helpful, and was thinking I’d link some of them here, soon, if you’d be interested?
At some point soon, I’ll also link some of my favorite fashion and home goods finds too. I always have SO many and love sharing them with friends.
Back to feeding my babe. Bye for now. Stay safe out there!!
x
