Sorry for my absence the last couple of weeks. Honestly, it’s been a tough couple of weeks and I wasn’t able to post, but I'm now back and will be sure to give you weekly updates again, going forward. It’s self-serving, mostly, as I find it calming to jot down what my week has been. My version of processing.
So, the last couple weeks, yowza. I'm now very much back to work. It’s still technically my paternity leave, and is for another 3 weeks, but I’ve been working so much, locally. Actually, not just locally. I went to LA last week, for 24 hours, for a shoot that I can’t wait for you to see. It comes out in November, and is an editorial I'm so proud of. It might have been my favorite feature I’ve even done. All will become clear closer the time. But, what I will say is that I got to work with Lilly Singh, who I simply adore. Being the only two on-camera, and both being queer South Asian people filled me with such pride. I couldn’t, in my wildest dreams, have imagined that I would be in such a position, when I was growing up in my hometown. How life has turned out is just bananas.
You know, it's funny, when I lived in the UK, if someone took a 2 hour flight, they’d be going on vacation and that would have been considered a relatively long flight, which you certainly wouldn’t do for a 24 hour stay. Here in the US, it’s become so normal for me to fly to LA or NYC for a few hours, and then straight back home. It’s always tiring, but nowhere near that ordeal my family, back in England, seem to think. When we drive a couple of hours in the UK, we plan days or weeks ahead, check the oil, and pack snacks for the long haul drive. Here in Utah, I drive hours so regularly and never think to do those old preparations. Now, when I go back home and see my family do this, I have such a laugh, inwardly.
Being back at work, being a new parent, does look a little different…or at least I do. My gosh, my face seems to have aged at least 5 years, in 2 months. People at these shoots are always so nice, and pretend they don’t see it, but the mirror doesn’t lie. I know it shouldn’t matter. I know that it’s all so shallow, but with the job I do, one feels so much pressure to look fresh faced and well rested. I know I have to find a way to let that go, and I'm sure over time, I will. But for now, I miss my weekender-bag free eyes.
I'm currently on set, shooting a new season of my Facebook Watch show, Boost my Business. This is the 5th day of a 6 day shoot, and my gosh I don’t know how new parents do it. Last night, I managed to get about 6-ish hours of very broken sleep, so being “on” all day after rough nights feels so insane. Do any of you ever feel nauseated when you’re exhausted? I sure do.
We started Ismail on a sleep/feed training program just over a week ago, with the hope that by the time we get to 8 weeks of this program, he’ll be sleeping the whole night through. Right now, as per the program we’re using (called Moms On Call), we put him to bed at 9pm, and then he wakes around 1am, 4am and 6:30/7am for a feed, until we wake him fully at 9am. I know that might not sound too intense, to wake up 3 times at night, but lemme tell you, it is when you’re working 10 hours the next day. But, truly, none of the exhaustion matters when I see his little face. He makes me so darn happy, I can’t even begin to articulate it!
Right, lunch break over. Back to work. See you next week!
OOooh, wait. One last thing. Yesterday, we won another Emmy for Best Unscripted Structured Show. It’s the 4th year in a row, and we now tie with Shark Tank for the record. Isn’t that insane? I'm still in shock. I can’t believe that so many seem to still love our show after all this time. Mind blowing!
OK, nowwww, time for me to get back to work.