HOLY SHIT!! I’m writing this 2 days after the birth of our son, Ismail France (You can call him Ishmail).
This came out of nowhere, on the night of July 10th, 2021. I woke up to my alarm, at 7am, on July 11th (UK time), to a bunch of missed calls from Rob. Rob never calls at night, and texts if he needs me to call him. But, I was completely out of it and called him asking what was going on, not thinking it was probably baby related. Remember, I was super jetlagged, after traveling to the UK, from our babymoon.
He told me that about half an hour prior, our son was born. He came 7 weeks early. I couldn’t believe it. I cried so hard, at the thought of not being there for our son’s first moments. I cried because I knew Rob was alone and that he needed my emotional support. I cried because I was so jealous that he was there with Ismail, and I wasn’t.
The next few hours were a frantic dash to try to get back to America. I got my brother to take me to a place to get a covid test, so that I would be allowed to fly. The Covid testing place doesn’t take walk-ins, but thankfully the guy checking people in recognised me, and made an exception. Yeah, yeah, I used my privilege. I don’t care, I needed to see my son. I would have used anything I could have to get home asap. They told me that I should get my results that night or the following morning, which meant that they were expediting it, but that also meant that I couldn’t fly that day. I cried again.
Then, I got a train from Manchester to London, and waited for my test results, so I could book my flight. They came back (negative) that evening, and I booked my flight for the next day. No direct flight to SLC, so I was going to connect in LA. My flight from London to LA was delayed, so I missed my connection to SLC. I had to stay in LA a night before the next flight to SLC. I cried again. 2 days had now passed and I’d still not met my own son. My heart couldn’t handle the pain I was feeling. Thank gosh at least his dad was with him. If he were completely alone, I would have lost my damn mind.
Finally, I got to SLC, this morning. Rob picked me up from the airport and we went straight over to meet my son, in the NICU, after taking a quick pit-stop to shower off, so I didn’t pass any germs on to him.
I have no words to describe how I felt when I first saw him, held him, kissed him. I was just so relieved that he was ok. My biggest worry, before seeing him in person, was if he was truly going to be OK. When Rob had FaceTimed me with him, numerous times, Ismail was covered in tubes and apparatus. Now, most of those tubes are gone and he looks so good. Beautiful and strong.
We met with the docs today, and they said he’s doing surprising well, considering how premature he is. He’s breathing on his own, and regulating his own temperature.
He’ll be in the NICU for a few weeks, but that’s normal. They said he just needs to learn to feed, over the coming weeks, and then he can go home.
We are just so relieved that he’s healthy.
Our surrogate is such a warrior. She gave birth to him in a matter of minutes, and after a night’s stay, she said she was feeling totally fine and went back to normal life. She gave us the greatest gift, and the most immense joy, one could ever give another person. We are so grateful. She’s formidable.
Ok, time to stare at my sleeping baby some more. I’ll give you an update on him again, in a few days.
xx
