When we last “spoke”, I had just arrived in London for my press tour for Beauty and the Bleach. It was such a great 3 day trip back home, but wow, it was so much work and I think my head's still spinning from it.
The first morning, after I arrived, I did a live TV interview for the show This Morning. I always love going on the show, as it’s been on since before I was born, and always feels like such an honor to get to go on a show that my family watched every day we could. However, when I was getting ready to head out for the day’s press, I was so jet lagged and could hardly function. I gathered all of my things and headed to the studio. I was meant to have about an hour between arriving there, and going on camera for my interview, but when I arrived they told me that someone who was meant to go on was sick, and could I go on in 5 minutes. I always turn up with my hair “camera ready”, and I don’t wear make up, so I was pretty much ready. I just needed to put my outfit on… only I had forgotten to grab the outfit I’d steamed that morning. I had nothing by the sweats I came in, my jacket. They have a fashion closet, so I asked if I could find something in there in 1 minute before going on. They agreed and somehow I managed to look chic with zero time to prep. The host even complimented me on my outfit before I left, hahaha. I was so embarrassed.
The rest of the 3 days were a blur, and before I knew it, my time was done and I was on my way back to LA. Up until 3 weeks ago, I was meant to stop in NY on my way back from London, to go to Gigi Hadid’s birthday party, but I had to change plans, as I’d been asked to host the Selling Sunset Reunion, which I was so excited about. I got to the U.S/LA at 9pm, straight to the hotel, and in bed by 11pm, so I could feel fresh for rehearsals the next morning.
What rehearsals look like is this. You sit around a long, long table, to run through the entire script with at least 10 people who all have an opinion on what should be added or taken out, based on my read of the script. Then, we go do lighting tests, make sure I know the general flow of the day, and to answer any questions I might have. I had so many. I’ve never hosted anything like this before. I was starting to get really nervous. When I’d agreed to do the show, I didn’t think of how it would all run, and how I had no real experience of doing a show like that, and that I probably shouldn’t have been completely jet-lagged for such an important new task.
That night, I really struggled with sleep. Partially because I was jet lagged, but mostly because I kept having nightmares about fucking up royally, and everyone thinking I was a moron, and that it was a mistake to hire me. I know I come across confident when you see me on TV, but I am riddled with insecurity, and my imposter syndrome is often through the roof.
I got to set, ready to shoot the live show with less than 3 hours of sleep, but I was determined to not fuck up, and not let down the producers who had worked so hard to create the reunion show.
I got the producers to go through every detail, so I could be as prepared as possible, but lemme tell you, there’s no real preparing for how much things shift on stage, during a live show, because you have the roll with the punches, and switch up plans so sharply. The answers of the cast aren’t scripted, only my intros are, so I have to constantly pivot based on what the cast is saying to me. It was so, so difficult trying to follow along with an ever-changing teleprompter, person in my ear calling instructions, and reading question cards. When we first started, I was panicking, thinking that I was about to sink at any moment, and fuck up in front of the entire cast and crew, but thankfully within the first hour (of the full day shoot) I think I found my stride and it seemed to go so well.
That’s all I can say about it for now, but it was so bloody good. I can’t wait for you to see it. It comes out in just over a week, May 6th. I would love to know what you think, once it's out there. There are some surprises in store, for sure. Watch it!
OK, time to get on my flight home to see my boys. Have a great week everyone!